Why dating does not work out so well even in clishee like marriages

 In the Yle news there has during the last few days been news and pictures of a car accident a few days ago. It seems that one car was ordinary metal car and the other of plastic, it just melted and squeezed totally. The surprising is that when one looked at the picture of the squeezed car, it brought to one's mind that "Oh, they found a date, a pair for themselves." Unfortunately that did not feel any better. There was some piece of news telling that the young man in the metal army car had himself called to the emergency number maybe a half an hour before the collision. The was a picture of candles of the mourning at the place of the accident. And it brought to one's mind that the young man had been unhappy with his life without anyone, so some of his aquiantages that thought that maybe he ought to be with his date anyway. Some later news told of the accused having been very cooperative, but the person in the plastic looking car having died instantly. The pictures of the place with the mourning candles brought to one's mind an unusuamly happy looking elderly couple with a good spirit that one admired. So what was wrong with the marriages? I studied theoretical physics in my early twenties, so I guess that men just think that one's life is determined by the environment, so without real reason they kind of command or somehow socially or spiritually send their own not-so-good, not-so-reactive, maybe engineer like scarce and narrow view of each situation to their wife, so the wife gets squeezed, her own views not listened to, even though her view is that each one should take into account things in one's life by one's own wisdom of life, feelings, skills, etc. The reason why the man gets commanded, is that his style isn't good enouch for the basic needs of the environment to stay healthy and free and capable, etc. So he tends get and like to follow advices like style of wearing a coat, how to guide children, what chores to take with which attitude on free time, what to take into account, etc. But he does not care such for others. So he ought not command others in such. One needs to understand wisdom of life, civiliced values, individuality, have high enough skills, notice the effects of feelings and choose morally according to feelings, etc. It is not always this way, individuals, countries of origin, cultures and climates admired, profession and professions and skills admired, etc affect a lot. 

For talking or discussing with others and for guiding life so, the civiluced wisdom and civiliced values taught in school are good for, but professional studies not at all. As the group which may affect one's quality criterions, choice of values, what to accept and what not, etc, one should have in fair common sense like ways all who have gone to the basic school, and not especially one's working place or former possibly homosexual environment like for example young school boys wanting to have only boys' ways, values, etc. 

Often one cannot judge people if one cannot recognise tveir skill levels and values in each thing. Besides, itseems that often people can sometimes change, like a date being replaced by someone else of the same sex, or by a murderer, or a liar, etc. So one shoukd estimate each person separately, which means also each occasion separately. And for this to work out, one should estimate them by what did they affect, did it have possible other effects and what are each of those from the point of view of values? Did thry give each one fair room to live in? If they clmmanded soneone, was it a wise thing, taking all effects into account, and was the person allowed own choice, without forcing him or her? Often women too can have very varied skill levels and values, lije for example a liar used to being next to a good quality skilled responsible character. 

In addition there may be at least momentary kind of spiritual influencies from different people etc, and that may affect also real world concretical happenings and other concretical things, typically toward the style, quality, social wishes and/or typical tendency of the personal life of the person sending the influencies, for example did something get broken or ill, was there social encounters with certain types of people, what did one happen to read in a magazine, email or latest news, who reacted to such in which ways, etc. Was the landscape nice or as if covered by some malicious deed of destruction of good life, how did things turn out, was there some accident or crime around, or just ordinary life, even wishing well and good luck for the long run, was the road easy or hard,...